Just being honest...

So as in the month of April, I had hoped to fill my blog this month with random fun times that we have had ... and we have had these moments, like when I got spoiled on Mothers Day, or when we had a cook out with our West Oak Crew to celebrate the end of the Semester, and then We had a family day at the zoo on Richards first Sat of the Summer Break.  But it seems that all of this is clouded by the anxiety I have over CJ having Seizure #3. 
She woke up last week with a fever in the middle of the night and I frantically filled her with some meds and stripped her clothes off to cool her down and Richard ended up sleeping with her... We had thought we were in the clear because in the past every seizure came before the fever; but later that next day after appearing to be fine she had a seizure, it was a lot different this time in that there was no crazy body jerks; she just stared off into space unresponsive to anything and then all of the sudden her whole face turned blue as if she had no oxygen and then began to violently throw up.  Once again I called 911... once again our little apartment was full of firemen and ems.  This was also the first time I was alone when all this went down.  I am so thankful for how fast Richard was able to get here from work and for neighbors that came to help, even if it was just to hold Micaiah.  Caroline did have a virus and I am pretty confident that it is another febrile seizure and not a whole lot more.  We will have more test done next week and the Neurologist even told us its possible that she will have many more till she grows out of this.  I just dont know how many more times I can handle holding my child in my arms wondering if this is it for us.  I do know though that every day with her and with Micaiah is a gift and I am so blessed to be given the responsibility of caring for them.  

For those friends who keep us in your prayers, please continue to pray for CJ and that if there is anything more than the fevers causing these seizures that the Dr.s will have wisdom and be able to find the source and we will know how to best care for CJ.  Please also pray for Richard and I as we feel through this and other situations from the past few months a heaviness and a strong presence of Spiritual Warfare. 


"We should pray for deliverance, and we should learn to resist the attacks of Satan in the power of Jesus Christ.  But we should always pray in an attitude of humble acceptance of that which is God's will.  Sometimes God's will is deliverance from the adversity; sometimes it is the provision of grace to accept the adversity.  Trusting God for the grace to accept adversity is as much an act of faith as is trusting Him for deliverance from it."  - Jerry Bridges