Seizure #5 :(

Im sad... sad that it happened again :(  Sad to have to watch my little one in a blank stare as her body twitches and she gasps for air :(  Sad that the Keppra she is on did not do its job to keep the seizure away :(  Sad that the Doc did nothing but say "that should not have happened"  and just upped the dosage of Keppra :(  Sad that we were just putting all the memories behind us and now we have a new one :(  

But Im grateful:  I'm grateful that God ordained that Richard would fall asleep holding CJ that night (something that rarely happens because we are pretty strict about her sleeping in her bed.)  otherwise we might not have known she was having a seizure right away.  I am grateful that she had a fever and virus with this seizure.  I am grateful that the med (shot) worked to stop the seizure so that we did not have to ride in an ambulance to the hospital this time.  I am grateful for the fact that though my daughter has an amazing memory for a 2 year old (when I pulled out the sheets to make a pallet by her crib... she said "that's GG's bed... because that is what GG sleeps on when she comes to visit) She does not remember the seizure or us putting her in the tub while she shook violently and screamed the whole time because the fever continued to spike after the seizure.  I am also grateful that My brother has helped me discover that there might be a link after all that pink lemonade contained with Aspaetame could be a trigger for CJ's seizures.  I am also grateful that I have a Big God with Big Hands to hold me and my little one, for its only when I place CJ in His arms that I can rest and find Peace.